Bedah Motivation Letter

Contoh motivation letter berikut saya ambil dari pemilihan Erasmus Mundus Course Representative, Februari 2010. Pada pemilihan ini, setiap kandidat menuliskan motivasi mereka, kemudian para student dan alumni dari course tersebut akan memilih 1 orang sebagai perwakilan mereka.

Bayangkan kalau 3 orang ini adalah applicant EM, dan anda adalah konsorsiumnya, yang manakah yang anda pilih sebagai penerima beasiswa – berdasarkan surat motivasinya?
Pertanyaan tambahan, menurut anda apakah yang harus di-improve dari motivation letter pilihan anda, misalkan anda pilih nomor 3, apa yang harus diimprove dari motivation letter nomor 3?
(jawaban pertanyaan ini akan berguna bagi mereka yang akan membuat motivation letter)

Kandidat 1
Being in the 2nd year of my study program, I consider myself having adequate time to offer my services to EMA. By representing my course, I would seek to know about the concerns of my course-mates & alumni and motivate them to share their problems/suggestions with the course representative. Therefore, i can address them collectively by giving feedback to the stakeholders at EMA General Assembly.

Considering general issues, I would like to discuss about the bureaucratic issues in visa processing from the home country to specific first year countries & while moving to the 2nd year hosting countries, since I have seen some cases in my tenure of study where students have faced problems in EMXX. Moreover I would be interested to work-out a better way of more directed integration of the past, present & future students. The current EMA portal provides a very simple & naive way of integration. A possible way is to tailor the current portal so that sub modules or sub-sites can be maintained for different programs, in my case for EMXX. It will help current students to know the whereabouts and activities of alumni & enable us to post more relevant job/PhD opportunities.

Kandidat 2
I may not be the best guy who knows about the program, or the guy who knows all its weaknesses or strengths. I am not the guy who spends all his day studying, nor am I the one who attends all the lectures. However, I am the one that you should vote for.

I bet that you are now wondering, what is this guy doing? How can he motivate us with such words?
Well, wonder no more. I am honest; I have always adopted this policy throughout my life, and it worked wonders. Entering this program has been an important turning point in my life. The journey is almost over, but the experience that I have gained will benefit me for the rest of my life. I now have an impulsive urge to give something back. It is not enough to tell my friends, or promote it back home. I feel a greater desire to be a representative for this program, and speak for my fellow colleagues, deliver their thoughts, ideas

Some of my friends call me a “perfectionist” as I believe that once you start anything regardless of how small it is, you have only two choices. Either you finish it as perfect as humanly possible or you do not do it in the first place. I believe that such a trait is one of the key factors of succeeding in anything, and thus it would help to manage such position if elected.

I have checked the responsibilities and obligations that are attached to this position, I will not lie and say that I know exactly what I will do or how I will do it. I can only promise that I will try my best in fulfilling whatever tasks I have to do, no matter how hard they might seem. I can only promise that I will listen to others and convey their ideas, beliefs and concerns. I can only promise to be fair to others before being fair to myself. I can only promise to be myself…

Thank you for reading and vote for me please 🙂

Kandidat 3
This is my first year as European Master student and I am really enjoying it. However, I feel that there is still space for improvements in this program. First of all, I would like to have more collaboration among European programs in different fields. It would be a great opportunity to have a set of multidisciplinary projects developed within the EM framework. The representative election would also permit to broader my horizons and understand better the issues that other countries have right to education.

11 thoughts on “Bedah Motivation Letter

  1. Kandidat 1
    alasan: efisien, clarity, ada objective statement, telah me-research forum/portal alumni dgn baik sehingga bisa provide suggestion.
    A bit overboard on the ‘I’ for candidate 2 (this may be perceived as self-centered, not a fit character of a representative)

  2. no 1 kok keknya bukan mo nge apply beasiswa, tapi kek mo nge apply pekerjaan. (?)

    no 2 terlalu nge brag, ga nunjukin benang merah antara dia dengan program em nya

    no 3 paling pas. apa yang dia mau dan apa yang bisa dia dapet dari program em ditulis.

    CMIIW, maklum nubi 😀

  3. Nomor 2 : baru baca 2 kalimat pertama saja saya sudah malas baca. Terlalu sombong dan kasar bahasax. SKIPPED

    Nomor 3 sangat baik inti pemikirannya. Sayang banyak sekali detail yg perlu dimasukkan. Dgn konten yg sedikit, saya malah penasaran ingin tau lbh jauh ttg kandidat ini. Pengaturan kata2nya juga enak dibaca.

    • Ma’af . .

      #2, bukan dari 2 kalimat pertama, setidakx sampai masuk paragraf 2 . . dan isinya sangat melayang2 kurang tajam

      #1 may be the best 🙂

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